Tuesday, June 14, 2011

How to Make People Like and Remember You

First off, let me say that this is not a guarantee.  This is just what works for me.  Also, please only use this if you are genuinely trying to get to know someone.  Don't be that jerk that really doesn't give a rip.

One day last fall, I went to visit my ex (we've been broken up for over two years, yet we remain friends to this day).  We caught up with each other, hung out, and watched a couple movies.  In the middle of the second movie, her roommate walked in.  After the movie was done, the three of us sat and talked idly for a little bit.  Then I pulled out the big guns.

I started asking about her life.  Not just the general "what's your name, what's your major, where are you from, bla bla bla endless droning".  The questions were more substantial.  We spent hours talking about her life, her dreams, her passions.  It may sound cheesey, but you know what? I made a friend, and a good impression.

A few weeks later, both my ex and I were back in our hometown to watch some of our younger friends in a high school play.  A couple of my ex's high school friends and her roommate were there.  This was the first time her roommate had met any of her old friends besides me, and I must say what ensued was pretty painful to listen to.

The two friends' conversation with my ex's roommate consisted of something like this: "Me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me endless droning about me".  Even the boring and bland major/hometown/general-things-you-don't-remember would have been better.

The comment from my ex a day later was "You were the only one of my friends my roommate liked."

Why was this?  Could it be that I'm just that charming?  Maybe I just have one of those faces.  No.  I took the time to get to know her.  I listened to everything she had to say.  The only things I said were questions and any answers to questions she asked.  We still talk and hang out every now and then.

If you want to be remembered and liked by a person, try not talking about you.  Rather, do your best to talk about the person you are trying to get to know.  If you run out of things to say, try talking to them about something you both have in common.  I'm no statistician, but I'm pretty sure nine out of ten times the person will remember you and like you.

Disclaimer: these are my thoughts, you don't have to listen to them.

Life changing? Probably not.

Interesting? Perhaps

Do with them what you will. They are my thoughts.

Just thoughts.

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